Monday, March 11, 2013

The Hardest Thing About being a Mom...


You know what I think the hardest thing about being a mom is?

It isn't the messes or the tantrums.

It's not the endless responsibilities, or 3 am feedings or dirty diapers.

It is me. 

The hardest thing about being a parent is the harsh reality that having kids doesn't suddenly make you like Mary Poppins or June Cleaver.

Since motherhood began for me, I have realized all to often that I am still the same broken, sinful person (who needs Jesus in a deeper way than I can explain) I always was....only now I have kids.   Now I have precious little people in my life who are affected by my sin and I hate that.  Now these little people are looking to me, flawed as I am, for guidance in this great big world, and are depending on me for well...everything

That scares me. I hate my own imperfection.  I hate it more when it affects my kids.  I hate it when I rob my home of its peace over issues that in the big scheme of things are trivial.  I hate it when stress, or temper or being overwhelmed with my own shortcomings takes over my belief system and my actions. 

But then a still small whisper breaks through the grievance in my heart to say, "It is ok. My grace is bigger than your mistakes. I love you. I love your children. I am with you. You don't have to be perfect. You just have to live out of my grace and believe that it is enough."

So, today I choose grace.

 I choose not to beat myself up over my faults.  I choose to embrace the love of a God who is by my side every moment: championing me and reminding me that with every mistake there is a chance to point my children toward Jesus and His boundless love wrapped in endless grace. 

Today I choose to love myself because my Father in heaven loves me.  Because to Him I am worth loving and to Him my flaws could never be enough to exasperate the fact that He believes in me more than anyone else ever could. 

Today I choose to live in grace; to wash my heart, hands and mind in it.  I choose to sing a song of His grace over my home by basking in it myself.  I choose to acknowledge the power of Jesus to transcend any and all brokenness in my life, and in the lives of these sweet blessings that I call my babes.

How about you mama? Do you choose grace for your life today? Because Jesus already has.

4 comments:

  1. Beautiful Annie!

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  2. Thank you for the beautiful reminder that God does not expect me to be perfect, and has a glorious, gracious plan for my shortcomings. This mommy really needed to hear this today!
    Erin
    www.bakesomebodyhappy.com

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  3. Oh Annie... You are right.on.
    You have such wisdom beyond your years. It's hard to keep that perspective and remain in the joy when you feel so flawed... So selfish. That Adamic nature rears its ugly head and the battle to live in grace and mercy is a challenge. But HE has overcome the world. I'm grateful for His new tender mercies everyday in this journey of motherhood.

    The Lord is helping me "lean into" this wonderful season of life.
    You are right though... The hardest part of motherhood is me!
    It's all about our attitude and perspective. Thanks for the encouraging post and for sharing your heart.

    Love that picture of you and babycakes! Paula R. Cousin-in-law

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  4. Wow,goosebumps reading this. It's so true! Thank you so much for reminding me of God's perfect grace, because this mommy really needs it too!

    Maria

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