Saturday, December 1, 2012

Hope and a Love Letter

You know those moments when you hear a song and it puts to words something inside of your heart that you never could have found the words for yourself? Maybe it even took hearing the lyrics to remind you that the feeling was there in the first place?

this is that song for me lately:

 These lyrics remind me of the hope and tenacious love that have sprung up a midst the brokenness and disappointment that wage war on my marriage.

To begin to explain in more detail the saga that is Annie and Justin would take a miracle of time and perfect words, so I will spare you by simply saying this:

  True love is the hardest thing I have ever walked out. We struggle every day, but God is faithful, hope is powerful and for the first time in a long time I have felt true hope in regards to my marriage.  Not just the fluffy kind of hope that we all pretend to have, but the kind of hope that gets into your guts and keeps you going.  The kind of hope that compels you to fight against all odds for the that which you hope for.  The kind of hope that invites you to trust again and to be brave in those moments when fear rises up inside of you, causing your throat to close up, chest to tighten and crazy thoughts to fill your mind.

Scripture says that Perfect Love Casts out fear. (1 John 4:18)   It is the hope in God's perfect love for my marriage and his relentless commitment to it that has been the anecdote for the fear, pain and surrender that threaten us. 

It is through the struggle for my marriage that I am being taught the true power of forgiveness.  Piece by piece the lord is unveiling the beautiful love story that He is writing for my husband and me.  Without the hardships that we are enduring, I never would have known the kind of love that I am experiencing for him.  I have had to fight for him, for my marriage harder than I have ever had to fight for anything in my life. - It is through this fight that I am being humbled by what it means to love like Jesus.  How perfect he is!  How truly, incredibly, loving and gracious he is beyond anything we can describe or fully comprehend!  I have been given a glimpse of this kind of love, and am being championed by Jesus to follow his example.  To love HIS way.  The hard way.  The truest way, and the only way that brings true redemption to our lives.

To be truly candid, at times I have come dangerously close to giving up.  Now as I begin to taste what seems to resemble the sweet flavor of hope and healing in my heart I can do nothing less than to prostrate my heart in thankfulness to Jesus for not letting me give up when I wanted to.  For loving me when I don't deserve it and teaching me to love my husband at times when he hasn't deserved it either.

The battle is far from over, but hope has begun to flow through my veins again and for that I am grateful.  Because of that, I know we can make it. When I feel the deep love for my husband that has been cultivated by our burdens my heart sighs with victory and thankfulness.  I am so happy to be with him, and relieved that we have stayed the course.  My family is my greatest blessing and my hope is in Jesus who protects it faithfully, strengthens me daily and paid made the ultimate sacrifice so that we could be one.

Hope changes everything.

1 comment:

  1. That was really beautiful, thank you for sharing your heart.


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