"Where O death is your victory?

Where O death is your sting?" 

-Hosea 13:14, Cor 15:55

The Hardest Thing About being a Mom...

You know what I think the hardest thing about being a mom is?

It isn't the messes or the tantrums.

It's not the endless responsibilities, or 3 am feedings or dirty diapers.

It is me. 

The hardest thing about being a parent is the harsh reality that having kids doesn't suddenly make you like Mary Poppins or June Cleaver.

Since motherhood began for me, I have realized all to often that I am still the same broken, sinful person (who needs Jesus in a deeper way than I can explain) I always was....only now I have kids.   Now I have precious little people in my life who are affected by my sin and I hate that.  Now these little people are looking to me, flawed as I am, for guidance in this great big world, and are depending on me for well...everything. 

That scares me. I hate my own imperfection.  I hate it more when it affects my kids.  I hate it when I rob my home of its peace over issues that in the big scheme of things are trivial.  I hate it when stress, or temper or being overwhelmed with my own shortcomings takes over my belief system and my actions. 

But then a still small whisper breaks through the grievance in my heart to say, "It is ok. My grace is bigger than your mistakes. I love you. I love your children. I am with you. You don't have to be perfect. You just have to live out of my grace and believe that it is enough."

So, today I choose grace.

 I choose not to beat myself up over my faults.  I choose to embrace the love of a God who is by my side every moment: championing me and reminding me that with every mistake there is a chance to point my children toward Jesus and His boundless love wrapped in endless grace. 

Today I choose to love myself because my Father in heaven loves me.  Because to Him I am worth loving and to Him my flaws could never be enough to exasperate the fact that He believes in me more than anyone else ever could. 

Today I choose to live in grace; to wash my heart, hands and mind in it.  I choose to sing a song of His grace over my home by basking in it myself.  I choose to acknowledge the power of Jesus to transcend any and all brokenness in my life, and in the lives of these sweet blessings that I call my babes.

How about you mama? Do you choose grace for your life today? Because Jesus already has.